Organizing My Life To Control My Mental Health

Before I hit my 2 year mark of being diagnosed, I knew I needed to get my life in order. If my life is in order then my mental health will be in check. This was important. I need to be able to function, stay productive, which means being organized.

I took a look in my planner and said “no, this isn’t going to work anymore” what I was looking at were things I needed to do, but it was disorganized, so I needed to rectify the situation.

I got myself another planner, an hourly one. I knew exactly what I would use this for before I got it. A routine planner. It’s important to have a routine, but even more important when you deal with mental illness.

So I jotted down a routine on some paper and switched things around to make things work. I knew some things didnt make sense being right after each other, so I re-organized it. Now I have a system and it works. Heres what it is

  • Work – anything blog/social media/youtube related
  • Self Care (SUPER IMPORTANT) and self care is perfect to come after work, so my brain can relax
  • Employment – looking for a part time job, so I can get out of the house
  • Tidy up – any small cleaning around the house

And my evenings are pretty much free to do whatever I want/need to do. It’s whatever is on my mind and I go from there. The problem before is I wasnt scheduling any time for me! Always schedule some time for you, its important.

So with the routine, my mental health has been good. My moods don’t change as drastically, and my anxiety is at an all time low! Im glad, I’m good, and thats all I can ask for.

New Layout, New Content

I’ve changed the layout of my site, it was due. I like it, its simple.

Now as for content. I will always post about mental health my goal is to always bring awareness. But as you’ve noticed lately, I’ve included some others elements of my life such as my family and other person things that have nothing to do with mental health.

Even though I have 3 mental illnesses doesn’t mean I don’t have an actual life. I do “normal” things like anyone else, I just have to approach them differently, to make myself more comfortable in any situation.

My goal is to just function and get through a day, one minute at a time.

So you’ll see my mental health posts, but there will be others posts as well.

That Borderline Life – A 2 Year Update

Well well well here we are two years later, and I must say its been a ride. I say this in my update video, and I also say I wouldn’t trade it for anything because I wouldn’t be who I am without all the bullshit I had to go through.

June 20th, 2014 I was diagnosed with BPD, Depression, and Social Anxiety Disorder. At first I was anxious about all of this, how do I deal? What meds am I gonna take? I have to see a therapist? It was a lot of questions, not enough answers.

But after getting situated with a therapist and a psychologist I was on the right path. I saw a therapist up until September of last year. Case of the overbooked and understaffed. It’s fine, I’m good.

I now see my psychologist every 6 months for a med update, which is good. My meds have me stable, and I’m able to function, I can’t complain.

Do I still have my mood swings? ABSOLUTELY! Meds aren’t a cure. I have to do the work myself, and I think a lot of people dont realize this. You can take all the meds, see all the doctors, but if you don’t actually try to be better by researching, and figuring out self -care, you wont change.

When I was first diagnosed, I was obsessed with being cured. It wasn’t an unrealistic goal, but it drove me crazy, and made me worse. I took a step back, did some re-evaluating, and realized I just want to function. If that means thing meds unit he day I die, then so be it.

As I type this, I must say I am in a really good place mentally. My head is clear, I have good distractions, I’m productive, my relationships are good, and I’m energized. I cant ask for anything more.

My goal is just to stay on this path, and learn to deal with the mood swings as they come.

Happy Birthday Alyssa!!

Today is my daughters 8th birthday! I can’t believe its been 8 years since this beautiful girl came into my life. I remember her birth like it was yesterday. (I know every mother says that, but its true!)

Alyssa is a mommy’s girl to the core, she is my shadow, she is my “koala bear” that came from me always carrying her on my side in a baby sling when she was a baby. She’s extremely intelligent, loves to read, very goofy, and knows exactly what she wants, and when she wants it. She gets that from her father.

I just want to say I love you Alyssa, even though you’re 8 you’ll always be my baby. Happy Birthday!!!

A Night Out

Last week my husband told me we would be having dinner with his boss, her husband a few other colleagues and their spouses. This morning I found something to wear then didn’t like it. My husband then told me to “go get something from Target” I asked to questions. You dont ask questions when your husband tells you to go to TARGET!

We were leaving at 6pm and I left out the door at 4:30, its a good thing I dont have long hair like I used to because tonight wouldnt have happened.

I went to Target and looked for a little bit and didnt see anything then I saw the dress you see in this photo

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I thought “this is cute plus I can wear it again cause its not too dressy” then right beside it I saw the clutch, and grabbed that also. I knew I couldn’t leave without shoes, so got those too.

I got home at 5:33 and rushed to get ready, which made my anxiety go up, but I kept it together. We left the house at 6:10 and made it there around 6:20 (we live close to the place) and we saw my husbands co-worker who I’ve met before and suddenly my anxiety subsided.

Thats how it works. When you dont know the situation you panic but as soon as you see a familiar face it can fade. Its funny that way. After about 10 minutes his boss showed up and 2 other people. We drank, dined, ate dessert and had a really good time.

I was a little nervous about how this night would go because one couple I hadn’t met and when I’m meeting new people I tend to sit back and observe, but I engaged (blame it on the merlot) and I had a good time.

I’m glad that my anxiety seems to be more controllable now because before it would take over my mind, and piss me off. It felt good to get out, laugh, and have fun. I need more of this

A little lilac never hurt anyone 


This past Friday night I dyed my hair purple…lilac to be exact. When I showed my husband he said 

What the fuck is a lilac?

LMAO “a shade of purple” I told him he just shook his head of it isn’t in the main colors of the rainbow he has no clue what color I’m talking about. 

I had been blonde for about 2 months and saw this box of lilac dye in Walmart and said “fuck it who says I can’t have purple hair at 32?” 

I got the dye about a week and a half ago but waite until my daughter graduated to actually do it so I wouldn’t take attention off of her 

Because the blonde Mohawk really helps me blend in. But I waited until that Friday and did it. Seeing it made me happy. It’s little things. Little things like lilac hair color 

Today my daughter graduated

13301421_10154721063227662_1131250754064330606_o.jpgEvery parent looks forward to this day, the day where their child walk across the stage and receives their diploma. This day is right up there with the day your child gets married, and has a child. It’s a huge milestone.

This day is an even bigger milestone. My daughter has ADHD

Definition

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a brain disorder marked by an ongoing pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development.

  • Inattention means a person wanders off task, lacks persistence, has difficulty sustaining focus, and is disorganized; and these problems are not due to defiance or lack of comprehension.

  • Hyperactivity means a person seems to move about constantly, including situations in which it is not appropriate when it is not appropriate, excessively fidgets, taps, or talks. In adults, it may be extreme restlessness or wearing others out with their activity.

  • Impulsivity means a person makes hasty actions that occur in the moment without first thinking about them and that may have high potential for harm; or a desire for immediate rewards or inability to delay gratification. An impulsive person may be socially intrusive and excessively interrupt others or make important decisions without considering the long-term consequences.

Having a child with ADHD has its challenges. You have to constantly repeat yourself, having them do their class/homework is a chore because they will just forget to do it, and they have to have a routine THEY HAVE TO!

For over half the school year my goal was to get her a good enough GPA so she can graduate. I wanted her to know how important this was, I wanted her to see what happens when you apply yourself the best way you can. Also I didn’t want her to be depressed because her friends graduated, and she didn’t. That would be a huge hit to her self esteem and could make her ADHD worse.

She switched schools at the beginning of February, because we moved all the way across the city, and when her school got wind of her 504 plan they fixed some things to accommodate her.

Such as taking her out of the damn algebra class! Once she was in a basic math class her grade improved almost immediately. She was then scheduled tutoring in between classes and had a study skills period at the end of the day. All of this combined brought up her GPA tremendously.

When I got the letter in the mail about “Graduation Rules” I was so happy because it meant MY CHILD was included, that she would walk across the stage, with all her peers, and all of her and our hard work paid off.

This is a huge hurdle we have jumped over, and there will be more because high school is coming, but bring on the challenges I’m ready, we’re ready.