I uploaded a video yesterday of a mental health update, I made it short and to the point. But with my blog I can actually make a long story even longer….cause thats what I do best.
For an entire week and a half I stopped taking my meds. I know I know……you know that feeling? Its when you’re feeling well, so YOU decided (not your dr) to stop taking meds, and when you do everything goes backwards? Yeah that thing happened to me, so now I have to basically start over and learn to cope with all the bullshit I put my mind, body, and family through.
I’ll be good though because unlike 2 years ago, I actually know what BPD is so I know what to do and what NOT to do, so I have some advantage this time around.
It still doesn’t change the fact that I’m in a low place right now, and I’m trying to get out of it.
A huge part of me has thrown myself into planning. Planning for me is therapeutic, and really calms my racing thoughts. Another is journaling, writing things down always seems to help, and music. MUSIC WILL CHANGE MY MOODS QUICK!
All of these things together seem to keep me somewhat stable, I can’t complain too much. Im just glad that summer vacation is almost here, so my kids will be home, therefore keeping me busy for a good 3 months. (I know I will regret saying this about 1 week in, I know this)
In the long run I know I’ll be fine, but in the short term I feel like I’m claustrophobic and I’m trying to get out of a small closet, it sucks. But I always take it one minute at a time.