I think I told myself this about 10 times before I actually got out of the bed *long exasperated sigh*
I knew the minute I opened my eyes that today was going to be one of those days I hate it when I just know because the entire day is going to be a struggle. But I got up, came downstairs, poured myself a glass of iced tea and decided to do a short workout on my legs.
I felt better but something still wasn’t quite right, then I remembered to take my meds, but still I wasn’t quite there.
I finally told myself
“its ok you don’t need to figure out right now, just go on about your day and you’ll be fine, at least you got out of the damn bed”
And thats all I can ask for. I have to remember that I’m not this super woman, I don’t need to figure out every little thing thats bothering me, it’ll eventually resolve itself, and ill be fine.
As a person who has BPD doing little things can be such a struggle, because any little thing can set off a mood swing. Something as little as getting out of the bed. So we tend to tread lightly doing anything. Sometimes we try not to speak because the words may come off as offensive, or mean. But when is enough, enough?
I know I need to be kinder to myself, its easier said than done. I would really just like to live my life as freely as possible but some days it seems impossible. I’ll get there, I’ll just wait for it.