and I wanted to punch my therapist. She didn’t do anything wrong, in fact she did her job. Thats why I wanted to punch her. The point of therapy is to talk about the shit you don’t want to talk about, so you can finally get past it.
We made a knick in the wall, but didn’t knock it down, and thats a good start.
See my HUGE problem is avoiding the things that cause my BPD in the first place. I don’t want to think about them, let alone talk about them. But I have to so I can finally get this huge weight off my shoulders.
We talked about a couple of things, but we’re not near where we want to be, well where she wants to be, because I am GUARDED. So guarded like my mind is this possession thats guarded by armed guards and refuses to let anyone in to access it.
I keep a lot of shit in, and it affects my every day life. To the point where I have emotional breakdowns, anger fits, and
Suicidal thoughts. I really need to just talk about it, get it out of my system, so my mind can be free. But that’s way easier said than done. I told myself that exact same thing before my session last week, and I shut down right as we began talking. So I’ll get there, even if it takes a while, I’ll get there