Recently (as in this past June) I went voluntarily to the psych ward here in my city. I was in a very low place, and needed some kind of advice as of what to do next. Now this was my first time going, so I had no clue what to expect, but I was terrified.
*DISCLAIMER – I will not mention names (not that I know any) I won’t even mention where I went. The reason I am doing this post, is because I can laugh at my experience now. Why can I laugh? Because if I dont the traumatic experience will tear me down. So on to my post.
On June 20th I voluntarily went to the psych ward, and the things I saw were straight out of a movie. I kept thinking “Oh there is no way I am THIS bad” (yes I was but I was in denial)
After I told the doctors why I was there I was sent to an open room with a bunch of other people. I kept thinking “this isn’t like the movies wheres my room with a bed, and an open toilet”
No I was in this huge open room sitting in a uncomfortable chair, with a bunch of other people. Women on one side, men on the other. With about 3 security guards.
One of the security guards, I used to work with. Yes this was awkward BEYOND AWKWARD! You ever try very hard not to make eye contact with someone? This was us the entire time I was there.
After sitting there for about 30 minutes a guy comes in and says he’s Jesus and he’s there to save. Two of the guards came and asked him to sit down, he did but he kept talking.
As he was talking Im looking at the door thinking “can I bolt for the door, if he lunges this way?” Luckily he didn’t he calmed down after a while.
Some time later a guy was brought in for whatever reason. After he got checked in, he started repeatedly punching himself in the fax making his nose bloody. Im looking for security, because there is no way I’m going over there and risking my safety.
They took their time going over there and he calmed down, they eventually locked him in a “safe” room and kept an eye on him through a window.
The woman I was sitting next to was very quiet, she was probably scared like me. A nurse came over to check her vitals and asked her why she hate rat poison. I kind of tuned out the conversation because I didnt feel it was my place to know why she did.
This is what irritated me about this place. They just asked personal questions in front of others. So I just tried to watch the tv to not hear why she was there or what her situation was.
Later on the same nurse came over and the first question she asked was “do you still want to die?”
No nurse I dont want to die, especially not here. I told her “no I’d like to go home” Since I was there voluntarily I had that option. After 4 hours I went home. It felt like 4 days, I was so ready to leave.
After I went home I was emotionally drained, just tired. That monday I looked for a psychiatrist, and here I am.