Unstable Identity

BPD symptoms can be hard to understand, especially for someone who does not have it, but knows someone who does. So I will be going through each symptom with the definition and giving an example from my perspective, which should hopefully help you, understand it better. In this post Im going to talk about unstable identity. Here is the definition.

Unstable identity
Instead of maintaining a constant sense of self, people with borderline personality disorder tend to adopt values, habits, and attitudes of the people they spend time with.

When I was in high school I was EXTREMELY clingy to any friend that I had, which also caused me to lose friends in the process. When I was this way I would do whatever my friends were doing. An example a friend of mine played basketball, so because she did it, I did it. I had never played a game of basketball in my life, but I had to play because she did.

I also started mimicking different people, using their slang, studying mannerisms, it was a little scary for the person who is on the outside looking in.

The reason we do this? Because we don’t like ourselves. We wake up every day not wanting to deal with our mixed emotions, and mood swings, so we become someone else as a distraction. In the end this only makes our BPD worse. But in the moment we have no clue how unhealthy this is. You may be doing this now and not realize it. With social media, you may Tweet like someone you follow and admire. With Instagram you may take pictures like people you follow. With Facebook you may only post subjects that your friends are posting. You see what I’m saying?

I used to do this in the past, now that I know this is a symptom, I started mimicking people on different social networks. Because their life was not like mine, it was normal, stress free, and happy. This only hurts us more. Instead, if you are doing this and just now realized it because you have read my post. I suggest talking to your therapist, to help you cope. Trust me it’s worth it. 


Published by

Kristen Iness

Mother Wife Living with BPD 'tis all

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